Parenting

Another topic I could go on forever about!

Being a good parent is not about being better than someone else or comparing children's grades or comparing their athletic abilities. It's about knowing what your children need and being there for them. Every child is different. They come to us very unique and very ready to learn. We need to teach them and be there for them and seek to understand them and help them figure out who they are. We are here to provide structure for them and to help them learn and to teach them right from wrong. We are not here to be their probation officer and make sure they never do anything wrong and make sure they only do things that you allow them to do. We need to be loving and caring and set a good example for them. They will learn and grow and we need to learn and grow with them. Parenting is hard, but if you just remember how much they need you and how much they love you, it will make life a lot easier.

Family Under Stress

A family under stress can only work as well as the parents are working. Children don't usually have good coping skills and don't know how to handle difficult situations. As parents, you need to model how to deal with tough situations and help your children through them. If a child is having more trouble than you can handle, you can always get into counseling. Don't send them by themselves. Do family counseling. That way you can work through problems as a family and you can also help at home on how to deal with the problems.

Families go through so many things and it is so easy to get discouraged when it comes to family crisis' because you can feel like you are a failure as a parent, but just remember to push. Do all that you can, be there for your family help them through these hard times and that will be enough. Children need their parents and parents need to help their children.

Sexuality in Marriage

Now, I could probably talk about this for days, but I won't because I want to keep it short and simple. Sex is good. Having sex regularly is a sign of a good relationship. You should want to be with the person you love in that way. You should want to give them all of you and they should return that desire for you. Men and women are different and they need different things and feel differently. That being said, every sexual relationship is different, just as every relationship is different. If you feel dissatisfied, talk to your partner. Communication is key. Just as when you are talking about difficult situations you shouldn't be pointing fingers or saying harmful things. Have a conversation and figure out a solution together.

Transitions in Marriage

Marriage is not the end of the road. Sometimes, as young adults, marriage can seem like the finish line. Like "YAY WE MADE IT!" but in reality it is just the beginning.You have you first learn how be married. Especially, if you haven't been living with that person... moving in is a BIG adjustment. Deciding who can put what where and figuring out if they like to have their stuff moved, etc. That takes a while to get used to. Even getting used to sleeping at night with someone, merging your finances, deciding where you want to live, deciding where to go for the holidays, learning to cope with difficult situations, and the list goes on and on.

Then you throw in having children! Now talk about stress. Not only do you have to support yourselves, but now a tiny person who can do absolutely nothing on their own. And if you both have jobs, who will watch the child? Will you put them in daycare or will one of you quit your job? Then if you quit your job will you even be able to afford the child? The stress continues to grow. But it also will grow you two together and creating a family will bond you together and your love will increase for one another.

Lastly, when the children are all gone. You are all by yourself again like before you had children, only this time you have a few more wrinkles on your face and your hair may be getting a little ashy, but now what? What do you do without children. You once again have to adjust your lifestyle and continue to build your relationship while you watch your children do the same.

Fathers

I feel like these days, fathers are so underrated. Fathers play an important role in families. Father help show their young boys how to be a Father and start making habits to be success. The best way of learning is through observation. Especially while the children are in the Monkey-See- Monkey-  Do phase of life. Both boys and girls need to see their father in everyday life. They need to see how a father provides for a family or how a father loves their mother or how a father deals with difficult situations. A mother and a father both play equally important roles in family life. So why so we think its normal for a father to leave? When a mother leaves her children it is shocking and very unheard of. Whereas a father leaving is much more common and it is looked over sometimes and almost expected. Why is that? We need to change our mind set and remember that fathers are just as important as mothers.

Marriage?

What can I say about marriage?

In the past year I have learned a lot about marriage.. from being married.

When I was dating my husband I was so sure I was ready for marriage. I wanted to be married to him and wanted to always be with him. However, it was a big shock when I got married. It wasn't that I wasn't prepared for marriage, but marriage is not a black and white subject. Ever marriage is vastly different. Different backgrounds, different communication skills, different lives, different temperaments. So you can take advice from other people and their marriages all you want, but yours will not work like theirs because they are not the same. I think it is not a matter of being prepared because you can't prepare for something you don't know what is going to happen, but you can push through it and work together as you go.

Gender- Defining, But Not Limiting.

This post might get a little "rant-y" just to warn you.

These days gender roles are something that really aren't embraced. The roles of gender are always being challenged and tested. It can be a very touchy subject because there are very strong opinions on the subject. However, it is something that should be viewed from all angles.

I come from a pretty traditional family. I am the middle child with two brothers. However, my older brother is technically my half-brother, biologically, but he is fully adopted into our family. So it's pretty basic. I come from a family that believes in basic gender roles, but we also believe that we are all equal. There is no denying that women are more motherly and men are more tough and less sensitive. Now, that doesn't mean a woman can;t be tough or a man can't be sensitive. However, that is usually how men and women are. Now, I believe in gender roles, I find it is really hard these days to tell people that I wan't to be a stay at home mom because that is odd now-a-days. However, it is said that women should be able to do what they want, but when someone says they want to do something the 'typical' women should want to do like stay at home mom or something like that it is all of the sudden bad. It's like we shouldn't want to do those 'typical' things and if you do you are a submissive woman and you need to stand up for yourself. I do not agree with that. If you believe that women should be able to do everything men can do and should have all the same experiences that should go in every direction. A women should not be looked down upon in society for wanting to be a mom just as she shouldn't be looked down upon if she wants to be in the military or be a cop or anything like that. It has to go in all directions. Gender can be defining,but shouldn't be limiting.